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Monthly Archives: June 2017

My Twentysomething 90’s Blog in NYC  

It was a great weekend!

After work on Friday I walked over to the 6 Train which runs uptown to my apartment building. I put a token in the turnstile and stood on the hot and smelly platform while I waited for the subway. I was lucky enough to get a seat so I opened my Danielle Steele novel and read a few pages until we pulled into the 96th Street station. Then I walked to my building on 94th and 3rd.

I love that my building is full of mostly twentysomethings. We are surrounded by people our own age which is great. This is probably because the rent is so cheap. Also, the building allows us to create an extra bedroom in the apartment by adding a wall, which turns a two bedroom into a three. Our living room is tiny, but my roommates and I each have our own bedroom.

I thought that everyone lived like this in the city, but Rachel and Monica from my new favorite TV show “Friends” have such a huge apartment. I don’t understand how they could afford it.

I walked into our apartment. My roommates, Wendy and Debbie, weren’t home yet. I took off my Barami suit, listened to the messages on our answering machine, and plopped down on the couch. I turned on MTV’s “House of Style” with Cindy Crawford and watched for a while.

Once Debbie and Wendy were home, we had an important matter to discuss. Where were we going to go that night? There were so many places to choose from. Should we hang out at a bar on the Upper East Side – maybe Mingles or Spanky’s or American Trash? Or go down to 19th and Park and try either Canastel’s or Café Iguana? Or maybe Wilson’s on the Upper West Side? It was hard to know which place would be the best, so we called a few friends to see where people were hanging out. After hearing where everyone would be, including some guys we were interested in, we decided on Wilson’s.

We hung around the apartment until 10 PM and then showered to be ready to leave by 11 PM. I put on one of my many black scoop neck body suits, high wasted Big John jeans, and my Justin cowboy boots. I used the diffuser on my blow dryer to blow my hair so that it was curly and fell to the side.

We jumped in a taxi and headed over to the west side. As always, there was a small crowd standing outside Wilsons waiting for the bouncer to let them in. We pushed our way closer to the front and stood there smiling until he finally decided to open the rope for us.

Once inside, there was some commotion going on. I couldn’t believe it but Luke Perry from 90210 was there! Beverly Hills, 90210 was our favorite TV show. We watched it every Wednesday night, followed by Melrose Place. The debate was always – who is cuter Brandon or Dylan? I am always a Dylan. I also root for Brenda and Dylan as a couple over Kelly and Dylan.

Sadly, we didn’t even get to talk to him. I wish I had my camera on me, it would have been great to get a picture. The night was a lot of fun anyway.

On the way home, we stopped at a bodega and bought a bag of chips and some Oreos. When we got home at 3 AM we ate it all while we rehashed the night. Then we retreated to our bedrooms and went to sleep.

We all slept until past noon Saturday morning. I missed “Saved by The Bell”! When we finally woke up, we threw on sweats and walked over to Googie’s Diner for breakfast. It seemed like half the city had the same idea so we waited outside for a table while chatting with some friends who were also waiting. They were in their bike shorts and had their rollerblades with them. They asked us to join them after breakfast but we declined. I have tried rollerblading a few times but I can’t get the hang of it. When we finally sat down for breakfast I ordered chocolate chip pancakes – totally worth the wait.

It was a hot late spring day so we walked back to our apartment, put on our bikinis, grabbed towels and the lounge chairs we bought at Duane Reade, and went up to our roof to lay out. They say the sun is bad for you so we put on sunscreen. Debbie and I both use a 6 but Wendy is fair so she needs an 8. We listened to our Wilson Phillips CD and hung out for a while.

Saturday night is date night and all three of us had dates. Mine was a first date with a guy I had met at Hi-Life a few weeks ago.

I dressed in my new baby doll dress from The Gap with my Justin shoe boots. They look great in the summer with dresses and shorts. I pulled my hair back with a clip and pulled some tendrils around my face. My date picked me up and we walked to Coconut Grill on 2nd Avenue. It is my favorite date place – the food is great and I always see people I know. I ordered penne a la vodka and he had chicken with sun dried tomatoes. The guy was nice. I’d go out with him again.

On Sunday morning, we ordered in some bagels from the place downstairs and talked about our dates while we ate at the coffee table in our tiny living room. When we finished, we got dressed. I wore my cut off Levi shorts that I bought at Antique Boutique, a t-shirt, and leather Keds. We took a taxi to Central Park and met some friends at Sheep Meadow.  We found a good spot and hung out for a while. It’s always fun there – tons of people playing frisbee, hacky sack or just sitting in the sun.

We had to leave early and head over to the apartment of some girls who are running our Fire Island share house this summer. We all wanted to meet before we spend every other weekend together from Memorial Day to Labor Day.

We stopped at Blockbuster on our way home and rented “About Last Night”, even though we have seen it 100 times already. Our friends from the third floor, Betsy and Risa, came up to our apartment to watch with us. Best movie – I so see my own relationships in Demi Moore and Rob Lowe.

Back to work tomorrow – but Fire Island is just a few weeks away!

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Why We Do Not Celebrate Father’s Day in Our House

I finally finished the dishes. The kitchen was clean. My extended family had left my house and my kids had retreated to their rooms. I was exhausted from cooking, serving and cleaning up, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I host Mother’s Day every year and I love doing it. It is a lot of work but it is always such a nice day. I am happy to celebrate being a mom to my two fantastic teenage daughters.

Now that Mother’s Day is over, I dread what comes next: Father’s Day is in just a few weeks. My husband passed away five years ago, and since then it has become the most hated day of the year for my children and me.

All three of us are doing well now, but there are many very difficult days each year – his birthday, the anniversary of his death, my wedding anniversary – these are days that we think about him a little bit more, wishing that he was here with us. Father’s Day is the worst one of all.

We know the significance of those other difficult days, but the rest of the world does not. My girls and I, sometimes along with friends and family, recognize those days as we wish: a special dinner, visiting the cemetery, or even just taking the day for ourselves to remember him. It is never easy, but we have learned how to best get through it.

Father’s Day is a very different day. It is everywhere and we cannot get away from it no matter what we do. I put on the television and there it is – never ending ads for Father’s Day gifts. Every talk show constantly gives advice on how to make Dad’s day special – from the best presents, to barbecue and baking ideas – they talk about it all.

The hardest thing, especially for my daughters, is social media. Whether it be Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat, our newsfeeds are inundated with Father’s Day messages and pictures. While it is so nice to celebrate the dad in your life, it can be hard for those who are not as fortunate. This also goes for those who find Mother’s Day difficult.

Over the years we have tried many ways to spend this day. We have spent it with family, with friends, or just the three of us at a restaurant. None of these things have been enjoyable. All that we feel is the huge void in our family.

As this dreaded day approaches this year, someone very close to me said that my girls “should be used to it by now”. My response was, “it is something you never get used to”.

I have a friend who lost her father when she was 12. This friend is now a married mother of two and she still finds Father’s Day difficult. I am sure my girls will always feel the same way.

You cannot possibly get used to losing your father at a young age. This is a devastating loss that my daughters will carry with them through their whole lives. After a lot of trial and error, we have learned that we need to do what feels right and what works for us on Father’s Day. It does not matter what we “should” do or what anyone wants us to do.

Everyone handles loss in their own way. We all have good days and bad days. Some may choose to spend a day such as Father’s Day amongst family and friends. My girls and I have found doing that too difficult.

Father’s Day in our house will be celebrated much differently that Mother’s Day was. There will no big celebration with family. If anyone is looking for me or my girls on Sunday, June 18, you will not find us on social media, or at a barbecue, or in a restaurant. You will probably find the three of us cuddling on the couch while watching Netflix. The only person who might see us is the pizza delivery guy. We will keep breathing until the day is over and we can start the new week on Monday.

My Yoga

My yoga journey is one I never thought I would take. As I have learned, life sometimes takes an unexpected turn. While I have had some really bad turns, this is a good one. Nobody is more surprised than I am.

I have decided to share this experience because of the positivity it has brought to my life. Maybe it can do the same for someone else.

My writing about yoga may not be what some experienced yogis would expect from a yoga blog. I am not an expert, and will never claim to be one. The terms I use may not be correct, and I am not super spiritual. Sometimes I’m even silly. This is my story of what brought me to my mat and how I feel both when I am in class and when I am not.

I plan to be brutally honest about what challenges me, and believe me there are plenty of challenges. I am still a beginner.

I am jumping into this the way I jumped into yoga, and jumped into starting The Widow Wears Pink. With both feet, my eyes closed, and not over thinking.

I hope you enjoy reading – my first story will be up sometime this week…